I didn’t take much notice of him at first. I just accepted him as one of the neighbours. Well, maybe I was just a weenie bit curious. You always are when it is someone new in the vicinity, aren’t you?
But I’m not one to get involved with people. My type never are. We tend to shy away and hide our lights under a rock so-to-speak (or should that be ‘hide our lights under a bushel’? Whatever that is?) Anyway, in comparison, as I say, I really didn’t take much notice of him to begin with.
I think he’d been here about a month when I realised he was a serial killer.
Yes, I did say, ‘serial killer’!
No, I’m not exaggerating, either!
I woke up coughing and spluttering, and there he was, with a huge plastic canister on his back, spraying toxic chemicals all over the place. The smell was wafting right over to my place, and it was horrible. I’ve heard that there might be some really bad side effects to these chemicals. They reckon that male sperm counts are dropping year on year, just because of residue pesticides in the environment. I tried not to breath it in. I tucked myself up tight, and tried to get back to sleep. But it was no good, the smell of those chemicals was choking me, I just had to get up and get out of the place. I went for a little meander around about for an hour or so, and when I got back, I could still smell the chemicals. They weren’t so bad, but, you know, I could smell it the next day too. Horrible muck!
I got angry because of that. I don’t like getting angry. It isn’t good for me. Come to that, it isn’t all that good for anyone around me either when I’m angry, I do tend to go ‘off on one’.
I thought I did rather well, actually: I didn’t let it get at me. I just made a little note about this guy. I decided he needed watching. So that’s what I’ve been doing, and every day I’m seeing something new about him that I don’t like.
Yesterday he went off in the morning, in his great big motor: Roaring down the road. A cloud of choking, bluish smoke billowing out of his exhaust pipe behind him. I watched him come out of his house… It’s the stone built one over there… I’m going over there now… Coming? … Yeah, the one with the big swing in the porch… and I watched him pack his armory into the trunk. He had enough ammo to fight a war!
I watched him come back in the afternoon. He screeched to a halt… You can see the black tyre-marks in the road over there… look… And then he hauled these two carcasses out of the back; one at a time hung over his shoulder with a rope tying their hind legs together… dripping blood down his path… Yuk! And then, while he was dealing with carcass number one, his dog… Yeah, that black one… came and stretched itself up into the trunk; I guess it was attracted to the other body… Anyways, out he came for the second one, saw the dog, and went mad at the poor animal… hit it on the snout with something he took out of the trunk… Must have hurt it… the dog whelped like mad and ran whining out the back somewhere…
Frankly, I was a bit afraid. Well, can you blame me? You never know where these sort of people will stop, do you? I think I’ll have to take some action… strike before I’m struck at, I reckon! It’ll be my kind next!
Every night… at a quarter-to-twelve… he goes into his bathroom… Yeah, that’s the end room on the right… The one with the windows thrown open… He leaves them open like that, until he goes to bed… I’ve watched him do it every night since I’ve had him tagged…
Just a few more minutes, and he’ll be closing those windows. He’ll put his hand out and hook under the bottom of the right-hand frame, pulling it away from the wall and swinging it back round to close… Aha! There he comes…Yeah… Hand out and under the other frame… and now….
I’m quick, aren’t I?
Man, he didn’t see me coming… Coil back a bit, then spring forward, mouth open, fangs ready, and bite… But I’m out of there just as quick… Just in case he thought of attacking back…
He he… That’s the advantage of surprise… And being able to climb stone walls easily, helps…
He deserved it…
I guess you could say, I didn’t like the guy.
©Allen Ansell 2004, 2022