Reading Time: 2 minutes

My toes dig into cracked brown vinyl
as Steven hangs over me
like a panting chihuahua, 
our skin sweaty,
dripping thick as gasoline

and all I see is the priest's face reddening,
his gruff voice climbing octaves
until he is railing against lust in shrieks
not once pronouncing
the diabolical "s" word,
God forbid!
His beady eyes drilling into me shouting,
Save yourself for marriage!
Save yourself from eternal burning damnation!

and here I am in the backseat of an old Buick 
doing it for the first time with this boy 
who spends all English class
slipping love poems under my desk, 
who got hit in the nose with a baseball 
cause he could not stop staring at me, 
and all I can think about 
is how I just walked 
straight up to the gates of hell
and swung the doors wide open  


My toes dig into cold damp grass,
all I see is Alan's face and his breath
mingling with mine in visible puffs
thinking I am too old for outdoor sex

until he pulls me to him kissing me hard
and I am leaning into him,
my head thrown back,
both hands gripping his shoulders
as we rock back and forth,  
purring and moaning,
spitting out Hail Marys
as if the devil will come knocking 

and if he does, 
this diabolical act, 
God bless, 
will be what saves me;
I go to sweet release 
that will get me through the days

© Naomi Sara 2023