Simple Acts Of Balance
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"Of my poem 'Consummation’s Colours' I said, 'it was a time I shall never forget'. Well, guess what? It happened again in my life, completing the duo." - Allen Ansell “Every morning we are born again, what we are today is what matters most.” - Gautama Buddha Her breath is easy and her eyes are closed, as is her mouth – for she breathes through her nose. I am tremulous inside my body (which I hold firm so that nobody knows.) Her fear of dying is no longer there – for in her dreams such a concept is lost. I stroke her forehead with my tired knuckle – softest gestures of familial love. Somewhere deep inside she hears my soft voice make mellow words to guide her soft away? There is much to say, all of it chosen for the right time: For this parting place. From where is my script? Borne perhaps by Care? Nowhere written? From out of thin air? Closing on the void, her breathing stutters – just now and then – most like a child’s sigh. ‘Don’t be fearful, Mum, you can now let go – though I love you as you surely know.’ How could I not wish her struggle to end? Sepsis invades – starves her very core. My new eyes see her: her fragility washes my heart free of imbalance. She sees my father? With arms outstretched wide? To welcome her in some secret space? To balance outside, my inside motionless, knowing the horn is about to sound. Together we slide: Her to ever sleep – knowing it’s love now making me weep. —o— The nurse sensing death: ‘Can you see Fred, Rita?’ She feels for a pulse… such gentle fingers. —o— There is a stillness come to her body. An ocean of emotion comes into mine. I confess that then I quake: Falling, I slip with the end of the string still in my hand. My balance is lost, and the string slides effortlessly from my grasp as it becomes an amorphous silver cord rising through the air. That is all. © Allen Ansell 2023
Thoughtful and wonderful poem.
You can certainly see your writing skills in your work. All the time go after your heart.
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